Narf's Cavern - C-File #4: On What Happens When Philosophers Get on AOL Instant Messenger

c-file #4: on what happens when philosophers get on aol instant messenger

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March 21, 2002

Socrates347: but as concerning justice, what is it?
LilGlaucon: i certainly know not :-(
Socrates347: therefore let us undertake an exercise
LilGlaucon: ok
Socrates347: i shall endeavor to imagine the most impossible and ridiculous State. by combining my naivete with your mindless approval of everything i say i hope to demonstrate the nature of justice by musing on the ideal society for over 400 pages
LilGlaucon: a most excellent suggestion, soc!!!!! :-)
Socrates347: yes, i thought so
JohnLocke12: did i perchance hear the mention of the word State???
Socrates347: you did
Socrates347: who are yu ?
Socrates347: *you?
JohnLocke12: i am called john locke, and it appears to me that, if i have correctly apprehended your meaning and your intentions, having little knowledge of the actual governance of man nor of his relations whilst in the State of Nature, a purely fanciful notion which i dreamed up with the help of several philosophers whom i seldom credit, and having not demonstrated intent to contribute in a manner meaningful to our present systems and societies, but rather to simply invoke a dream-world, as it were, and by chance, to catch us off our guard with an idealistic notion that has little correspondence with our actual and real situation, you will very well likely never find the simple subject or predicate of this sentence :-)

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LilGlaucon: well put, sir!!!!! well put!!!! :- D my agreement could not be more overwhelming
Socrates347: indeed
Socrates347: would you permit me a question?
JohnLocke12: no
Socrates347: that has yet to stop me
JohnLocke12: *sighs* ... :-(
Socrates347: tell me
Socrates347: the ferocious tiger is prone to mangle young children, is it not?
LilGlaucon: it is
JohnLocke12: he was addressing me!!!!!!
Socrates347: and should you find a mangled young child, you would not therefore suspect that the deed had been performed by an animal other than a tiger, such as a cocker spaniel?
JohnLocke12: umm.... i suppose not...
Socrates347: nor would you believe the child to have been mangled by a variety of a plant, such as an olive tree?
JohnLocke12: i do believe if i were to...
Socrates347: nor by a stone?
JohnLocke12: eh?
Socrates347: nor a wine casket?
JohnLocke12: please come to a point
Socrates347: no
JohnLocke12: *harrumphs*
Socrates347: then you see the proof before you
JohnLocke12: ????
JeanJacques69 signed on at 10:48:12 PM
JeanJacques69: hey, i thought this chat was about S/M... whoops
JeanJacques69 signed off at 10:48:34 PM
NietzscheAlsoSprach signed on at 10:48:39 PM
NietzscheAlsoSprach: yo
Socrates347: how excellent!!! a newcomer
LilGlaucon: lol
JohnLocke12: and from whence do you come, good NietzscheAlsoSprach? i am from england
NietzscheAlsoSprach: england? how torturous is the english buffoonery-a pretense and nothing more! an englishman is the last haven for that plague upon the digestion which europe has long since been rid of-and gladly so-that disease of a language which pretends to articulate higher things-even without excessive hyphenation and italicization -as if emphasis were a thing for the reader to lay upon the words himself! an absurdity! a crime!
JohnLocke12: pretense?!?!?!?!
Socrates347: good sirs, if we may return to the question at hand
JohnLocke12: plague upon the digestion?!?!?!?!?
LilGlaucon: lol
Socrates347: oh shut up
JohnLocke12: take THAT you little teutonic twit!
NietzscheAlsoSprach (12%): naturally it would be the englishman who warns the continental without the courage-the presence of mind or the manliness-to admit he did it!!!
JohnLocke12: i did nothing of the kind!
NietzscheAlsoSprach (12%): oh no???
JohnLocke12 (12%): ok, that's it
NietzscheAlsoSprach signed off at 10:51:54 PM
JohnLocke12 signed off at 10:51:56 PM
Socrates347: hrm
Socrates347: i fear our dialogue has become degenerate :-(
LilGlaucon: certainly it has
Socrates347: if you'll be so kind as to excuse me, good glaucon, i shall be retiring to my chamber to take hemlock
Socrates347: brb (j/k)
LilGlaucon: rofl :)

Chris Guin is a 25-year-old software engineer at a Cambridge research company, and a recent graduate of Tufts University (M.S.) and Harding University (B.S.). He's Christian, conservative, and originally Alabamian, and he posts new C-Files roughly whenever he wants to, usually every month, if you're fortunate. You can see the complete C-File listing here, or see everything he's stocked away at Narf's Cavern here.